ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
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