Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
