i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
