apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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