tequila makes me forget i have legs
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
