dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
