i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
