Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
