i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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