How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
