Its about making memories worth repressing
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
