I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
accomplished twins. life is a go
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize