I think my vagina is haunted
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
