You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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