I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
