I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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