They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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