you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
