you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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