Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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