Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
