you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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