Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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