Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You have to summon your inner elephant
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
