If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
