Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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