your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
