somebody snuck up and got me drunk
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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