I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize