Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
