guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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