sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize