ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
