i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
