I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
