This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize