you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
