eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
