turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
