Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize