Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
