I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
