we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
