somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
