I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
