my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
