I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
