Kiss
Puke
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
