She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
