North Korea, Best Korea!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
