I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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