i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
