I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
We're hate flirting, damnit.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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