Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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