So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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