Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I looked at my own cervix.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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